It’s not, however, the time and place for redemption. It’s for me to accept, what is, is, only the perception of what was changes.I realize when he stopped me on the sidewalk while I held my Pee Che folder in defense, it was the most wonderful thing which happened to me. He is my Camelot’s king. Together we have a happy little tribal kingdom, greater than any suave money prop castle of Edward’s. Yet, all is not well in our Camelot. Like Guinevere, I complicated the happily ever after-ing. I can never confess to him and destroy his deceived reality happiness. Why be Mordred and replace it with a harsher truth like my mother did to me? I don’t want him to lose his old age’s bliss with a truth that cripples and destroys. Yet he doesn’t and can never know me, the whole me. This I regret most.I don’t know if he had a secret puppet shadow, a hidden life unknown to me. My affairs may have blinded me to his. He left on business. She can't speakMandarin but the Director said that in the computer room, Bla?enka willspeak different languages including Mandarin, Shanghainese and Cantonese. She had a sexy gown on. The plan was to just shoot her without anysentences and do some CGI. Bla?enka did that the director said (or theTranslator said). The director had a script in his hand, in Chinese, fordoing the advertisement.Bla?enka started the acting of the ad, then, out of the blue, she spokeperfect Shanghainese said her lines! They were shocked and she wasshocked too. Bla?enka never spoke Shanghainese at all. More so, she hadno idea what she said. She fainted on the set.Bla?enka woke up in an ER in a hospital. A Chinese holistic andtraditional physician was looking at her. He spoke in Mandarin. Bla?enkadidn't know what he said but the translator his lines. The physician saidthat he sees two conflicting people inside of her soul. She really didn'tunderstand that.The old traditional Chinese physician.
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